Help! A Bear Is Eating Me!

"Mykle Hansen's book is the Scarlet Letter, the Age of Innocence, the Wuthering Heights of books narrated by a guy being eaten by a bear -- The Last of the Motherfuckin' Mohican's of ursine mastication. Just sayin'." -Christopher Moore, author of Lamb, A Dirty Job, and Fool Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.